Calling it here, Costco is going to use the genetic information to create the perfect hot dog.

When I plowed through that kindergarten I didn’t get as much as a single dent. If that isn’t an endorsement, then I don’t know what is.

Replace all the customer facing employees with chimpanzees with webcams that say in sign language: read what’s on the website. Whenever someone calls in or opens a chat, they’re connected with a chimp. Be sure to also include a guide to ASL on the company website. I guarantee sales will go up

You’re gonna cook up a crazy theory like that and not even mention big daddy capitalism?

edit: I was making a joke, it didn’t land right. I agree with you, I probably wouldn’t be on this website if I didn’t.

I present to you the master orator and renowned pugilist philosopher Mike Tyson.

I really enjoyed the original series, the other stuff just seems daunting to me.

One day you come home, you see all your stuff is in boxes. Then you see a note on the fridge, it says: “Womp womp” You fall to your knees and break down in tears. Through your tears you see another note underneath the fridge. You reach for the note. The note reads: “Womp, womp?” You began to laugh maniacally. You hear footsteps, you stop laughing. Your wife stands behind you. She says: “Kept you on your toes didn’t I?”

Your desktop was cluttered so Microsoft AI agent formatted your hard drive. Please insert your credit card number to buy a new windows license.

Now you just need a gunpowder powered pulley system that whips your massive dong out of your fly after the motorized zipper opens your pants.