“If you have a deeply emotional reaction to your entire worldview being shattered in your middle age and having everything that once brought you a sense of comfort, however manufactured, suddenly ripped away from you, then you need psychological help.”
At least your brain-dead snark somehow still brought you to the correct conclusion, unintentional as it may have been.
My girlfriend has the same issue. Her doctor told her she was allergic specifically to cat saliva, and since they groom themselves with their tongues their fur has little bits of saliva on them, which triggers a less intense reaction than direct cat licks.